April 2, 2009


My psychologist says the way I’m acting is normal for someone who went through what I did.

I told her about the sleezy guy at the bar in college and about possibly being molested when I was 6 or 7.

My brain doesn’t know the difference between 2009 and 2002, or in the 1980s. When I am touched in a way that reminds my brain of those negative experiences, it makes me say, “Whoa! Back off!”

So when KL, my boyfriend, is touching me, I have to go slow and gently remind myself that this is 2009 and this is with KL and it is ok.

The thing that made me cry at the end of today’s session with the psychologist is that she said I’ll be able to have healthy sex again someday. She has helped many patients before.

It was good to hear there is hope for me. I thought I would never like sex again. But with KL’s gentle support, I know we’ll be ok. I will be ok.


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