May 18, 2009

NURTURING THE INNER TEENAGER

It’s not just a small 10-year-old that I need to nurture—the teenager version of me needs love, too.

I need to tell her that my parents’ behavior is not her fault.

Children—even teens—are not responsible for how they react and their emotions. It is the adults who need to be responsible for their own actions and handling the situation.

If children misbehave, it is never appropriate to abuse them; instead, it is better to explain why the teen’s behavior was bad and take something like video games away.

My teenage self has shriveled like a raisin due to the lack of love and nurturing. I need to learn how to nurture her, to make up for lack of parental nurture.

In therapy, I had a hard time believing that the problems in my teenage years were not my fault. I’ve been blaming myself.

I don’t understand how it could not possibly be my fault. Aren’t people responsible for themselves?

Does that cut off at age 18? Was I suddenly responsible for myself? I don’t think I knew how to be [responsible], when I was 18.

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