October 21, 2009

13th Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting

COMPULSIVE AVOIDANCE WITH SEX?

I had avoided it with my ex-husband for a couple of years before the divorce in 2008, only “giving it to him” when his begging and guilt trips got to be too unbearable, OR when I’d had cyber sex that really turned me on (with other people). [“Cyber sex” was chatting about sexual activities with each other online; I felt it was similar to role-playing games, in a way.]

“…addiction involved being emotionally unavailable.”
-SAA Green Book, pg. 6

With the exception of the first guy [in high school], I often had sex with guys within the day/evening that I met them.

I wanted to cheat on my ex-husband, but I was undesirable because I was married. So I kept being married a secret as long as possible. I was ashamed to be married because it kept me from having sex with others. I know it’s weird logic, but that is how I felt.

How healthy do I want to be?
Well, how honest do I want to be?

Good to hear ideas on hot to resolve conflict with significant others.

allowed to have feelings, wants and needs.

admitting that my parents hurt me
—wanted to be independent, strong, invincible

tell myself to slow down and make what I learn meaningful

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