REVISED: THREE CIRCLES
Inner circle / Acting-out behaviors / Bottom-line behaviors
-things that make me feel bad about myself [in the long run]:
- Sex with strangers – includes in person, web cam, cyber sex chat;
- Saying yes to sexual acts when I don’t really want to do them.
-things that I’m not sure if they’re good or not; can possibly lead into inner circle:
- oral sex
- video recordings of healthy sex or any sex
- bondage sex
- showing erotic videos/pictures to people for their attention
- visiting sex personals and dating websites and chat websites
- dirty talk, degrading talk (ex: saying I’m a slut, etc.)
- pornography; sex stores
-positive things that are healthy for me
- Healthy, safe sex with a trusted friend/partner
- Develop non-sexual relationships with others
- Affectionate touch; cuddling
- Go to SAA meetings
- Exercise; eat healthy; socialize with safe friends
I caught myself in a thought just now:
I was pissed about my job again. Then I thought, “I don’t want to think about this; I’ll think about sex.”
My psychologist has been persistent. I want to call Adam and ask for sex. He is safe and trustworthy, but am I still wanting sex for the wrong reason?
I’m trying to get rid of all-or-none thinking. I’m afraid that if I miss a single SAA meeting, then I will have forever failed the program.
15th SAA meeting.
Reading about conflict: Answers in the Heart
False —> Unconditional love means love without hassle.
Reality —> In real love, there is conflict.