January 14, 2010

I think I’m past the Sex and Love Addiction withdrawal stage, now. I feel mellow, probably because of the anti-depressants. I wish I did not have to rely on medication to be sane.

…focus on the solution, not the problem…


I prefer [written] sexual stories. Visual images almost ruined it for me.

Night Terrors—afraid of the dark and the cold. Motive to move to [the southwest U.S.].

Acting out is not an option. Have to replace acting out with something better. Sudoku! I no longer feel that life without a partner is worth living.

“Addiction is the result of unresolved grief.”
-grief for things I feel I lacked in childhood?

I lie because I don’t want people to know who I am. Keep myself a secret—the good and the bad. Maybe I don’t want to be hurt. Still I have a lack of trust??

I don’t realize that I’ve been through anything bad until someone mentions something or reacts to it. My emotions and reactions were cut off. I also want to be the one who stops the crap that has been passed down from generation to generation. Fear of passing on my problems.

Get pleasure and release from outer circle activities.

Life could be worse—when I start hating my job, I sometimes remember that at least I’m not a prostitute or something.

Do I transfer my addiction?
-food, work, sex, love


Cried and stopped. Didn’t finish. I still fear not being accepted. Do they really want to hear more about me? Really?


One thought on “January 14, 2010

  1. Pingback: January 15, 2010 | The Miracle Mud Bath of Life

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