Monday, March 29, 2010
“What sort of attention or nurturing do I need today?”
I could use some comfort, because my cat is missing. Although, I’m not sure how to do that. Should I ask someone [to comfort me]? How can I tell who is safe? What if I start crying? I do not have anyone in my life around whom I would feel comfortable crying. That is a very vulnerable position to be in. I do not trust anyone that much. So I guess crying at home alone is the best alternative. At least I have the safe company of the plants and betta fish.
Should I let go of my cat? Or keep looking for her? She’s only been gone since Saturday morning, but that is an eon of time, for her. Usually she’s only gone for 5-10 minutes at a time. Should I be patient and allow her to come back when the time is right? Or should I look for her because she might be trapped and starving somewhere?
WANTING TO BELONG SOMEWHERE
I still have feelings of being an outcast. I still wish I could find people and a group to belong to. I’ve jumped around so much. I want to keep long-term friends—not temporary friends. My sponsor in SAA told me about a spiritual group. I’ll go to their next Saturday meeting and see how it is.