Friday, April 2, 2010
I went to a psychic today, to get insight on my cat’s whereabouts. He ended up doing a whole reading and even going past the original 15 minutes I paid for.
He said my cat’s not coming back, but he sees another cat in my life—not one that I’d go out and get at a shelter, but one that would just happen to come into my life. Lighter colored cat, fluffy.
The psychic told me quite a bit that shocked me. Mostly he told me about the future. Within the next 3 months, I’ll start dating, but with a shit-ton of regulations. He sees 3 boyfriends over the next 5 years or so. The first is taller than me (I’m 5’9″ and a half) and has done a little solo music work. He plays many instruments. I possibly help him write lyrics or music. He encourages me to get more into music. I’ll meet him through my piano training/schooling and he will feel like a kindred spirit. He’ll agree to my rules; that will amuse me greatly.
I have strong musical talent and drive to do it. By summer, I’ll find a temporary job that pays well and I’ll leave my current company. It will be a little bit of a risk. The job will be through someone I know. Job might be in environmental work or research. The job after that will be as someone’s assistant.
The psychic says he sees me ending up in Colorado. A boyfriend has ties there, and I end up going.
Working for myself, in 4-5 years is a possibility that brings me happiness. I have trouble with authority, so being my own boss would be good.
[Note: He said a lot of other stuff, too, such as needing this time to heal, moving out of my apartment by the next August, and other things. None of this has happened, but at least it kept my hopes up and kept me from feeling more suicidal because I had something good to look forward to. Which suggests that one of the keys to defeating suicidal thoughts is to have something positive to look forward to!]
REFLECTIONS ON PSYCHIC READING
The boyfriend coming up would have to be one hell of a guy. I feel like I never want to date ever again. I am enjoying my freedom. To date, or to have a boyfriend, means death, to me. Death to my soul!!! lol
The things the psychic told me sound exciting, but it’s hard to see it happening, especially when I feel so trapped here. Working for myself sounds like a good dream, since I generally don’t like asshole authority figures—like my dip-shit low-IQ bosses.
A neighbor today said she saw a cat similar to my current cat who recently left. It gave me hope that we’d be reunited. I really like my cat, so much. My heart misses her. My brain tries to understand.
The psychic said that if my sister tries to contact me or make peace with me, I should accept her. But he didn’t need to tell me. I’ve already been willing to accept her for at least a couple months. I hope I continue to grow spiritually and heal emotionally.
Oh, one more thing—he said he pictured me owning a small restaurant or coffee shop, like the old ones from the beatnik 60s era, where people come in, read poetry, sing songs, express themselves.
So I’m at a restaurant. [Note: I took my journal to the bar.] Never been here before. I heard there’d be a blues band here. The bar area is way too small and crowded for comfort. So I asked for a table in the eating area and I’m listening to the band from a distance. The BBQ-meat smell is a little annoying, but I found a salad on the menu that sounded promising [I’m vegetarian].
The band has been playing popular songs that I recognize. They took a small 2-5 min break. Now I hear some blues. I wonder if they wrote it? The sound is softer, more timid. Are they unsure of what they play? The sound is not as confident as the cover songs. I think the unique songs they wrote should be the proud, confident songs. Blast it into the mic. “I wrote this shit, bitches!” and celebrate with confidence.
Those popular blues songs are good, but I like this band’s natural stuff better. I don’t know them, but it just sounds like they own their stuff. They are proud of it. I hear it now, in their second song. It sounds happier than the first.