May 24, 2010
SO THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE WHEN I PUT PEOPLE ON PEDESTALS
Maddie (the 16-year-old who called me recently) is already putting me on a pedestal.
I can understand—she’s so excited that another person is taking a non-sexual interest in her. She says we’ll be like sisters or best friends. I know that’s a red flag, but we’ll work through it. I’ll gently remind her that I’m only human. Not a goddess! She is very much like me, last year.
The problem with her is that the relationship is moving too fast and I am uncomfortable. “Too much too soon.” Experience has shown me that it is not a good idea to push intimacy suddenly, before getting to know each other. I feel uncomfortable being around such an unhealthy and unstable person. I do not want to be her best friend or like a sister, at all. At least not yet. We barely know each other.
She appears really chaotically unhealthy and untrustworthy. I wouldn’t normally be attracted to her for a friendship. The only reason I have to be friends with her is because it sounds like she has no one else in her life who cares about her and I feel sorry for her.
I’m not sure how to get out of this, or how to let her know without offending her. I know how emotionally fragile she probably is right now.
Also, I don’t feel like I fit in with the SAA addiction groups anymore. I don’t really want to go to the Monday night groups. Also it’s a far drive, each time.