October 14, 2010 in California

Thursday, October 14, 2010

“Bring me that horizon.” —Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean

Whew! Cold as shit. 5:05 AM. I slept at a rest stop along the freeway. Not too active, here. Very quiet and peaceful. I can see lots more stars here than in the city. Very pretty. But cold! Good thing I brought blankets and jackets. Time to roll!

——————

Well, I’m parked off to the side, at by a lake. I missed a few things I had wanted to see, but I’m not worried. I’m not sure which road I’m on, but I don’t care. I turned off the GPS. I’m now on “intuition mode,” for the most part. Time for some hiking and exploring!

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Mt. Shasta looks like a beautiful crystal. The surrounding farmland area looks like it glows. So beautiful. I’m stopping for a hike in the redwoods. Smells wonderful! Fresh.

——————

Dinner in Mt. Shasta. Hotel in Dunsmuir. Nasty hotel… completely not clean but it’s better than the cold car at night. However, it was $60 for the night, so I will probably try to do the car thing tomorrow night.

Is Mount Shasta where I’m supposed to live? It’s a cute town. Probably expensive as hell. But no strong signals. I saw a poster ad for a play performance at a community college in Weed, for tomorrow night. I’m planning on going. I’m tired. I miss my cat. I want to go home. I feel like trying. This is uncomfortable. At least I saved a spider from the bath tub.

I have serious issues about jobs and work, after being fired. I feel like I never want to have a job for the rest of my life. I really do believe that all jobs are going to suck and be miserable experiences for me, because that is all I’ve ever had. I can’t stand idiot humans. But I don’t know how to get around the need for money. I feel trapped and sad. I dread my next job. Sometimes I feel like I’d rather commit suicide than go through another shitty job experience. Sometimes I’m just so sick of this place.

I want to go home. I feel like giving up.

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