Saturday–Sunday, November 20–21, 2010
I’m jumping on the gold and silver “bandwagon.” Not too much, but hopefully enough to keep me afloat between the time when the US Dollar really crashes, to when I’m able to take care of myself (land, food, etc).
I’m going back to the Saturday meditation for the first time since Early October, at Pat’s house.
My notes from Pat’s psychic reading for me:
Dad took away innocence and trust and left me with rage. Anger is a glue, anchor to Earth to avoid floating away. Mom was here to balance dad’s energy while we grew up, for me to see dad as more controlling and manipulative. She left when it was finished. No reason to stay after we grew up.
Dad—wild mood swings, bipolar? passive-aggressive. I’m stronger than dad now.
Dad never crossed lines to put him in jail but used his eyes to make me feel self-conscious —-> fear, control, intimidation, vulnerable. But at 4 years old, same energy in person made me vulnerable to dad but it might as well have been because energy was the same.
There had to be something that made me angry to propel me out into the world to do what I want. I was/am sensitive, so it was all I needed.
Dad is weak—he is a bully. He shuts up if people stand up [to him.] Sister reacted more to bullying. Is her husband similar to dad? Transferring fear of dad to him? Husband bullying her? Fairy/sprite energy. Misplaced anger. Nice, sweet, but a small level of bullying. Subtle bullying; she doesn’t need a baseball bat. Baby steps. He is a teacher for her. … She feels hurt each time. Just say no. Draw the line and do not back down. Pick one thing to be firm on.
Younger people —-> attract beautiful life that exists.
Future boyfriend: hippie feel, outdoors, grass, bicycle, happy, energy like mine, gentle, no gender roles, laid-back.
Understand anger. Thank-you to dad and mom. Anger blocks the flow of good. I’ve drawn the line.
Healing Letters to Relatives (not meant to be sent):
Thank you. I offer and give my gratitude to you, for the lessons you’ve helped me to learn. I needed the anger and rage in order to ground myself in Earth. Even though it was an uncomfortable experience for me, I’m still grateful because it helped me to become stronger.
I am no longer afraid of you. You are unable to control me, cause fear, cause vulnerability, or cause intimidation.
The anger at you has allowed me to propel myself out into the world to do what I want.
I’ve learned who to trust. I’m safe in my bubble and I’ve drawn the line. No one can hurt me anymore.
Anger blocks the flow of good, so now I release all anger. Anger flows away from me and now love and joy fill my heart.
I understand the anger and why it was necessary. Thank you for your help and your service.
[letter burned with sage.]
Thank you for balancing dad’s energy. Thank you for the money that has allowed me to be free. I forgive you. I forgive me. Thank you for teaching me gentleness and kindness. Thank you for your help and your service. I release all anger, and I fill my heart with love and joy.
[letter burned with sage.]