Thursday, January 6, 2011
Reiki training—session 1 and meditation today. Pretty cool. Reiki feels familiar to me.
Someone in the meditation group had the intuitive message that I was like a cactus: on the outside a cactus appears to have nothing much going on, but on the inside there is a lot going on. It expands in times of water. The roots are both shallow on surface and deep in Earth. I agreed—I don’t usually tell people much about myself. So while some people end up feeling like I really understand them, I don’t feel like anyone really understands me. But that’s ok.
One group member (she’s also a starseed) compares my eyes to looking up at the sky and seeing the depth of the stars and universe, like it never ends. It’s not love poetry—just a compliment that I have a “deep” look to my eyes. I think I have an “other worldly” aspect of feeling that surrounds me.
A cat was acting like a human. She lived in a house that looked like it belonged to druggies—run-down and not pretty. She had babies suddenly, like 6 of them. She’d already had one daughter and then a second. So, 8 total. But the 6 were all twins. Or six-tuplets or whatever.
I was the mother cat’s cab driver. She didn’t take care of her babies. Her eyes were glazed-over. She just seemed like a zombie—not fully able to be conscious, or else she chose to not pay attention to what’s going on around her.
We needed to leave suddenly. I drove her away in the car, but without the kittens. That’s always how we’d driven in the past. She always left her kittens behind. This time, I heard (radio?) that the oldest kitten (teenager or at least 10 years old, in human terms) wanted to end her life (suicide). She was making plans to snort a certain type of drug—something made by grinding powder onto some part of the brain.
I repeatedly asked the mother cat if she wanted to turn around and go back to her kittens. No reply. She might as well have been in a coma. I decided to turn the car around and go back. The mom cat spoke to her children, but I could tell they were still sad. So I spoke up. I told the kittens that I was very sorry for driving away. I made a promise to never leave them if I can. Someone has to care for these little ones. If the mom wasn’t going to, then I would.