Feeling Disillusioned After Dec 21, 2012

I was totally ready for whatever changes that the New Age internet people and the whistle-blowers had predicted for December 21, 2012. They had all seemed so convincing. The body language of the whistle-blowers in the YouTube interviews and the lecturers of New Age spiritual ideals were genuine and honest.

I bought it—lock, stock and barrel. I thoroughly mentally prepared myself for anything and everything that had been predicted—whether it was Planet X approaching, pole shifts, aliens landing en masse, or the crash of the U.S. dollar and martial law. I was ready to help humanity cope with some Great Revelation of Reality, including revealing myself as… (broken drumroll) …a star seed.

A month or two into 2013 and I began to realize that no great change had happened in December.

I gradually questioned the whole New Age ascension and Love stuff, and the dozens of conspiracy theories with their stories of black ops, mind control, chemtrails and alien cover-ups.

I felt awful and embarrassed. Disillusioned.

Everything suddenly seemed like a lie and I realized that it was I who now had to deal with my own revelation of reality to myself. 

I felt betrayed by the New Age community, abandoned by the non-existent alien beings, and angry at the world for not changing into the lovely, ideal bliss that we envisioned. I began to see the Law of Attraction as straight-up bullshit.

By summer 2013, I started to give up. Over the following 6 months, I quietly unsubscribed from all of the emails and blog updates that had anything to do with 2012 predictions and conspiracy theories. I gave up the New Age stuff. I no longer struggle with knowing what to trust because I have removed myself from those online circles where people talked about that kind of stuff. What kind of stuff, exactly? Anything that could possibly fall under “new age” and “conspiracy theory.” I’ve dumped it all out.

I don’t even know what is predicted next, or what the newest whistle-blowers are talking about. I vaguely heard something about Prism and Edward Snowden, but I didn’t care anymore—I didn’t want to get dragged down into it. And I don’t think I’ll go back.

I am visibly happier now in my life, especially with where I live and who I’m with, yet I have an amount of sadness that reveals itself occasionally whenever conversations or thoughts drift towards spirituality. Not always, but often enough to annoy me and leave me with a desire to figure it out and fix it.

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