My solution to the “Gypsy/Rom beggar problem”

Allow the gypsies/rom to make their own decisions. Their experiences and perspectives are valid; otherwise they wouldn’t exist. If I have an interaction with them that causes me to have emotional experiences that I don’t prefer, then ask myself: What do I have to believe about myself in relation to this situation (or a person or life in general) is true, in order to feel what I’m feeling? It’s likely that I’ll uncover a negative belief about myself that is not true.

This is inspired by Bashar (not the politician from the Middle East, but rather Darryl Anka) and I feel like this currently works for me.
Bashar home page link.
Wikipedia link.

I am sharing it so that you can see this as one possible option for you to consider.


After moving from the United States to Europe, I was unsure about how to handle or deal with the sight of, and interactions with, beggars who come mostly from Romania.

I’d not been satisfied with other solutions I’d come up with over the past one and a half year. My obsessive thoughts would include gentler, kinder actions such as teaching them English or giving them educational/skill books in the Romanian language; unfortunately my imagination would include more violent thoughts, as well, which would merely result in me feeling annoyed and guilty.

My ideas, however, would always include some kind of arrogant element of the idea that their lifestyle is not ok and they need to change their lives into something that I believe is more suitable for modern/western society. My fantasies of “helping” them often snow-balled into me being some type of parent or babysitter, taking over their lives for them like a well-intentioned dictator because of a belief that they are incapable of living a proper life… whatever that meant.

Eventually, I concluded: Instead of trying to heal them, why not heal myself, instead? That’s kind of one of the ideas behind that first paragraph, up there. Now I feel more free and relaxed; not so stressed-out.


Since moving to Europe in 2013, I’d emptied out the box in my brain that was labeled: new age ideas, spirituality and conspiracy theories (yes, they were all lumped together). I’d decided that I was done with all of it. I attempted to fill that box with scientific and rational ideas, but I found myself lacking the spiritual component that I used to have, say, 5-6 years ago, with the starseed / light-worker meditation group.

In January or February 2015, I couldn’t take any more of the angry, frustrated, empty feelings and I wandered back to some YouTube clips of Bashar. What he said made a lot of sense and I figured that as long as these spiritual beliefs bring joy and purpose, and aren’t telling me to go out and murder others, then what does it matter if it is seen as silly or crazy to others? The experience of joy, love, and moving closer to being my authentic, happy self, is real and it gives me a better life.


When you have emotional experiences that you don’t prefer, ask: What do I have to believe about myself, in relation to this situation (or this person, or life in general), is true, in order to feel what I’m feeling? It’s likely that you’ll discover a negative belief about yourself that is not actually true.


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